sohotrightnow: the top of a swimming young woman's torso. ([bsg] only thing mine)
I've basically had to severely limit my Twitter activities because all of the shit on the past few days in Congress and in Virginia (which, for those playing along at home, is where I live, grew up, and will be living for the foreseeable future) has been threatening to trigger me, so that's. A thing. Like, to the point where I've been thinking about removing a couple of pretty close friends because they will. not. stop. posting about it, and have said things that it's hard not to hear as implying that if I am bothered by the unceasing and frequently graphic descriptions of transvaginal ultrasounds (that my home is now mandating for any woman who wants to have an abortion, as well as essentially rendering the Pill, IUDs, and emergency contraception illegal) then clearly I don't ~care~, and honestly I cannot deal with a lot of details about state-mandated rape. I actually cannot. Go figure.

So that's something that's happening here in my state. Please, please donate to Planned Parenthood, and if you're in VA make your voice heard, for the love of God, and do that if you're anywhere else as well, for Congress in general, and most of all, please, please do not attempt to engage me further on this, because I am at the end of my rope.
sohotrightnow: the top of a swimming young woman's torso. ([atla] zuko can totally do undercover)


this is possibly as perfect a representation of my soul as I have ever managed to create, just fyi.

Also I would just like to say that I am really sick of flashbacks. They are terrible, in case you guys were wondering. Now that the not being able to even be around other people part has died down a bit, FUCK IT I'M PUTTING ON SOMETHING CUTE AND GOING TO LA TASCA FOR CHEAP SANGRIA.
sohotrightnow: the top of a swimming young woman's torso. ([sucker] your argument is invalid)
If people with Experience X are saying, repeatedly, that Text A accurately/meaningfully/with a high degree of success speaks to their experience of X, then their reading should be acknowledged and respected. This is particularly true if you
  1. do not have Experience X, and/or
  2. have only consumed Text A second- or even third-hand, where they have consumed it first-hand.
ughhhh basically one of my triggers is people telling me that I'm imagining it/making it up/being melodramatic and while I haven't, I don't think, reached the point where that's becoming a severe issue for me, I can see this whole discussion heading there. SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS DIFFICULT. Particularly if you haven't actually SEEN the film in question. Also, gosh it's good to know action movies aren't a valid medium for the examination of trauma and rape culture and women can't possibly have violent feelings about their abuse.

In related news, HEY LOOK IT'S A REVIEW OF SUCKER PUNCH THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO PUT MY FIST THROUGH EVERYTHING!
This is, in fact, the most important part of the whole film, and it's the part that's gotten lost in all the other criticism I've read. Babydoll is not insane, nor does she go insane. And the visual metaphors employed in the film are for our benefit, not hers. They are not a "coping mechanism" for Babydoll, nor is she "retreating into a fantasy world." They are a way for us to see this world. They are a way of illustrating her plan to the audience in an intriguing way that isn't just "Hey, if we steal the key and get the map from the office, we can get out of here." That movie would've lasted five minutes and would've been boring as hell. Or worse—just like every other escape movie ever.
Well done, Tor, well done.

Also I made a Sweetpea icon. YESSSSSSSSSSS. Strike that, I made TWO Sweetpea icons, and this one is even BETTER.
sohotrightnow: ([buffy] like some soldier undaunted)
OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL. Like, I have already gotten into the habit of disclaiming just about everything I say re: Sucker Punch with an explanation of how this hits not only my narrative buttons, but my srs bzns trauma-related buttons as well. Plus it is actually a really fucking awesome action movie, objectively. So everyone should read my thoughts on this movie while keeping those two things in mind, that it's objectively a great action movie (which is a genre that not everyone likes) and that it hits so many of my personal buttons that it's hard if not impossible for me to really deal with this on an objective level just yet.

And as silly as this sounds and embarrassed of myself I am for saying this, I am not actually sure I can deal with a lot of criticism of this movie right now. Partly because a lot of the things I have seen complained about hit a couple of very deep-seated issue-related buttons for me, such that I end up taking criticism really really personally. To the point where, kind of hilariously, I have even been considering taking a few days away from LJ/DW until whatever initial discussion there may be has died down. Yes that is how ridiculous I am, w/e w/e I do what I want.

That said, [personal profile] inlovewithnight tells me that there has already been some stuff surrounding this movie in fandom that will enrage me, much of it from people who haven't even seen the movie! And, okay, first of all, leaving aside the deeper issues I have, this is not going to be to everyone's tastes, simply because it's very much a straight-up action movie ([personal profile] baked_goldfish and I agreed after last night's viewing that leaving aside the politics of it, this was quite simply one of the best action movies we'd seen in ages) and again, that's a genre that not everyone's into! So if you're not into action movies you probably will not be super into this. And as for the ~issues~, I will absolutely acknowledge that plenty of people have trauma that will manifest in ways that make this movie unviewable for them! But I would like to state clearly the other side of that coin, that it's possible for people's trauma to manifest in ways that mean this will be an extremely satisfying and, hell, therapeutic movie for them. Brains are complex! No two traumas are the same! We all deal with it in different ways and respond to it in different ways!

...oh god that was only supposed to be a few sentences of defensiveness. /o\ Long story short, I totally understand being critical of this movie, from a pure cinematic POV and from a feminist one, but I am not sure I am capable of dealing with that because of the ways that it resonates with me (I love action movies and also LOL ISSUES). I realize it is silly but that is part of the fun of being crazy. I hear people be like "but the costumes are gross" and I have to fight really hard not to yell YOUR FACE IS GROSS, SHUT UP, THIS IS FUCKING ART, I AM GETTING DEFENSIVE SO HARD I'M ABOUT TO BREAK MY MACBOOK FUCKING AIR!!!!!!! Yes, again, I completely realize this is irrational and hypocritical, but guess what, that is how the crazybrain works! W/E W/E I DO WHAT I WANT, at least I am working to confine this to my own journal! :D? :D?

OKAY HAVING GOTTEN ALL OF THAT OUT OF THE WAY.

Some observations from my second viewing. Very specific plot-type spoilers. ) Which...hm. That reminds me so much of this post that I am really going "huh" to this.

More on the costuming! Like, we were discussing them, and [personal profile] inlovewithnight said "they were just dancing the line of exploitation so furiously that I think they finally just obliterated it entirely". To which [personal profile] baked_goldfish responded "yes, the costumes were skimpy -- but also, they were tearing shit up," which is also key, I think. Like, sex as means of enforcing power is such a central theme in this movie that it seemed obvious, to me, that reclaiming sexuality would be a part of kicking ass and reclaiming agency. Plus, also, like, part of why I love Buffy so much is that she is allowed to be traditionally feminine and still be a hero. Like, Ripley is great, but she never really resonated with me the way Buffy and Sailor Moon did, because I had the same problem with her I had with a lot of the heroines of books I read, where I felt like the message was that in order to be a female hero who kicks ass, you had to eschew femininity.

More on the costumes and gender in this movie in general; only mildly spoilery and mostly just cut because tl;dr. ) In short, this movie is actually very conscious that its fantasy sequences look like shallow fantasy empowerment, and that is exactly what they are supposed to seem like, because this is not a movie about fighting hard enough to prevent them from victimizing you: it is about recovering after they victimize you.

...actually, looking at all of that, and my "the point is you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't" take on Blondie's death in particular, not only is this movie about the patriarchy and misogyny, it is even more specifically about rape culture. Which, holy shit, not only did a dude make an action movie about rape culture and make it awesome, that dude was Zack fucking Snyder. I am not sure what to do about all of this.

OH MAN I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS MOVIE, I CAN'T EVEN. Okay it is time for lunch. And then possibly I will bake something. IDK. Also, [livejournal.com profile] burntcopper pointed me towards a streaming copy of the soundtrack. So if anyone wants to listen to that, just go here and scroll through the carousel until you get to it!

Ughhhh where are all the icons, I need them. ALL OF THEM. Maybe I will even try my hand at writing fic? IDK where to even start with it, though, because there is SO MUCH FIC that needs to exist for this movie.
sohotrightnow: the top of a swimming young woman's torso. ([atla] an unwanted stranger)
You know, I've seen a few different people saying that everyone needs to watch Olbermann's Special Comment in response to the shooting, no matter what our politics or opinions on Olbermann are.

Fun fact: in response to the way he potentially triggery )

Sooooo I'll be off my flist for a few days, by which time I assume it'll have run its linking course and I can be reasonably certain I won't run into the line of "you need to watch this" again. Because yeah, I agree 100% with what he's saying, or what I heard him saying before I had to admit that I wasn't going to be able to make it through this and closed the tab, but I actually cannot listen to Olbermann talk at this point. So please, please, please stop telling me that I have to, that my feelings on someone who has done more than his fair share to minimize and belittle rape and endanger women involved in a rape case don't matter because he said something important.

(I'm bipartisan in my distaste for dickish and dangerous rhetoric and will agree that we need to make fucking well sure the Tea Party's cheerful calling for Giffords's targeting, among others, for gun violence isn't forgotten. But yeah, other people have said that better than I.)

Comments on, but screened. And I promise, I'm pretty okay, I'm just trying to make sure I stay that way.
sohotrightnow: A budding tree branch. ([stock] green and growing)
This post started as a post for Blog About Disablism Day, but obviously it didn't end up being ready in time for that. I'm posting it anyway, though, because, IDK, I've mentioned to other people that I've been wanting to talk about mental health and privilege relating to it for awhile.

WARNING: this post contains some sexual content and graphic discussions of triggers, especially as they relate to sexual trauma. It may be triggery.

There's also some talk about mental health and privilege, and some of my residual anger over last summer's AbilityFail, aka WarningFail, and no, I still refuse to call it WarningWank. )

Comments are screened because I really do not have the spoons to deal with starting the warnings debate up again. I'll unscreen stuff as it comes (so if there's something you'd rather stayed between us, make a note of it and I'll leave it screened), but anything that looks like it's headed in the direction of AbilityFail Part Deux will stay screened, I will not respond to it, and if it comes to it I will not hesitate to ban people. I can't promise that this entire journal is a safe space, but I'm going to try and make this post, at least, one. If you want to have that discussion in your own journal, knock yourself out, and if you link me to posts where you've discussed it, I will unscreen those comments. Link to this post all you like, but please include some kind of warning resembling the bolded one at the top.

I feel like I should tell everyone that I am not actually feeling super upset or angry or freaked out right now! I am feeling pretty good right now, as a matter of fact. That's another thing -- it's taken me awhile to figure out what it was about the happiness of the past few weeks that feels different from the way it has in the past. I finally put my finger on it a few days ago, and that, more than anything, was what inspired this post: the new element was that, for the first time in years, I feel safe. I am surrounded by people who I trust and love, and who respect and love me in return. So ♥, guys. I'm getting there. For the ones who had a notion/A notion deep inside/That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive.

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