sohotrightnow: Thor with a big smile on his face. ([avengers] god of thunder and :D)
Hello, hello! It has been a pretty good couple of weeks.

+ I had my annual evaluation results call with my boss, and based on a few comments when we'd discussed my self-evaluation I had been feeling fairly optimistic. Her only criticism of my self-eval was that she thought I'd been a little too hard on myself and should get more comfortable calling attention to my accomplishments, so I knew I was doing pretty well. We were also given a range to expect our bonuses/salary increases to fall within, and it was about what I'd expected -- a little more is always nice, but I am lucky enough to be pretty financially stable right now so I was fine with not getting anything significant.

WELL. When my boss said I had been understating my achievements, that wasn't just a platitude, apparently, because both my salary increase and my bonus were significantly higher than what I'd figured was the absolute highest end of possible. Like, significantly more than even the highest end of the range everyone was told to anticipate. She sent me the documentation breaking everything down, and we had a call to go over it right before my lunch break, and when I got off the call and went to lunch I opened a bottle of champagne that I had in the fridge.

+ As for what I am going to use my bonus for, I'm having LASIK later this month! In exactly ten days, actually. I've been sort of toying with the idea for a year or so, and when I found out about this windfall I figured I might as well get evaluated, especially since my vision insurance will get me 15% off. I wasn't actually optimistic -- Dad had an evaluation a few years back and was told that his corneas (corneae?) are too thin, and that not only is he not a candidate, but he needs to be extra conscientious about annual checkups because he may need a transplant before too much longer. During the evaluation the doctor initially remarked that I had a few thin spots, but went on to say that it was nothing too severe, and that I'm an excellent candidate. I'M SO JAZZED, INTERNET. SO JAZZED.

+ I've started keeping a dream journal again. I kept one really faithfully all through high school and well into college, and then got out of the habit, but the other night I had a weird one that I wanted to write down, and later that day I read this, in which it was suggested as an approach to dealing with writer's block.
It's useful to escape from external and internal judgment—by writing, for instance, in a dream diary, which you know will never be read—even if it's only for a brief period. Such escapes allow writers to find comfort in the face of uncertainty; they give writers' minds the freedom to imagine, even if the things they imagine seem ludicrous, unimportant, and unrelated to any writing project. [...] That dream could become the source for a story. And, at a minimum, it serves as a reminder that, no matter how blocked you may be, you still have the capacity to imagine something new—no matter how small and silly it may seem.
Interestingly, it also took all of three nights for me to get to the point where I realize I'm dreaming while it's happening, which is generally the first step toward lucid dreaming, which I've only done a couple of times but was pretty rad both times. One of those realizations came last night, while dream!me was being pulled over for speeding, at which point I was like "oh dip, I'm still asleep!" and woke up feeling ridiculously, hilariously pleased with myself, as if I had actually gotten away with something IRL. The note I jotted down in my journal before rolling over and falling asleep again was just "lol that's one way to get out of a ticket".

+ The weather has been friggin' lovely lately. It got up around 80F last week, and now it's cooled off and is a bit closer to normal for this time of year, although still a little warmer. And for the most part it's been sunny, too. A+ work, nature, keep it up.
sohotrightnow: the top of a swimming young woman's torso. ([stock] above the world)
I realized it had been some time since I updated LJ, so here are some things going on with me.

i. Tuesday, [personal profile] baked_goldfish, [personal profile] redbrickrose, and I saw Circumstance, which was excellent. Oh man, Internet, being trapped in a situation, and getting out or even just learning to live with it is a favorite narrative framing device of mine, and this was such a great example of one. A few more thoughts. ) I have a lot more thoughts on it but I just keep adding to them, so maybe there will be a longer reaction post later. Only negative I have is probably the way the subtitles were done; they were only white, with no outlining or anything, so when the text showed up against a window you could lose something like half the line, and while you could typically guess what they were saying it was definitely distracting.

ii. Finally talked to one of my managers about going to part-time or contractor status sometime around the end of the year. I'd been sort of job-hunting for awhile, but I realized that honestly, what I want to be doing is writing, and as it is right now I just don't have the werewithal to manage it around another full-time job. And while I might find a full-time job that I enjoy more than the one I've got currently, I'd still have this same problem. So that will probably happen around December or January, knock wood.

iii. I've had a killer sinus headache for the past ten days and finally gave in and went to the doctor today. He basically told me to keep doing the things I was already doing, but also prescribed antibiotics, so I've at least got that going for me.

iv. I came to a pretty intense realization yesterday as the result of something I offhandedly tweeted, so I'm processing that. Again, possibly there will be a longer post later, but I have been absurdly sleepy all day and am pretty emotionally drained lately besides, so tl;dr-ing is not currently on the horizon.

v. I got a call the other day from a recruiting agent about a web developer job! I ended up passing on it, because it wasn't something I thought I'd like that much more than what I'm doing now anyway, and as said above it wouldn't serve my goal of giving me enough time to seriously devote to writing, and the timing of interviews and all was just too stressful (especially given that it wouldn't have been enough of a pay bump to make the other issues worth it). But it was nice to clarify to myself that writing full-time is, indeed, my goal, and I got a bit of phone-interview practice, and it's always a nice ego boost to have someone contact you for a job, especially a nice-sounding one. I'm not completely unemployable, hooray!

vi. I enjoyed the Community premiere, especially now that spoilers ) And P&R was fun, but I don't have quite as much yammering to do on it; it was just totally enjoyable. Also I kind of want I don't actually think this is a spoiler, but just in case ).

vi. I'm behind on Ringer and Downton Abbey, but the latter I know is and the former I suspect will be great "it's gloomy and I feel crappy and I want to drink wine and eat ice cream and binge on TV" choices, so I actually don't mind saving up a good backlog.

vii. Still not crazy about last week's Who in terms of story, although again, I think it was a very well-done episode. And I loved that minor spoiler ), that was wonderful.

viii. Next week I am going to NYC to spend part of the holidays with [personal profile] fox1013! \o/

UGHHHHHH okay I'm going to finish working on a few batches I brought home with me from work so I wouldn't have to use an entire day of sick time and could instead just use a half-day and scatter the work around to accommodate sleeping/doctor's appointments as necessary. Although possibly I'll take a nap first. And have another beer.
sohotrightnow: the top of a swimming young woman's torso. ([atla] zuko can totally do undercover)
Signups for Round Two (Katara) are up over at [community profile] avatar_minis! I realized while I was filling out my own signup that I read Katara as queer. Definitely bi, quite possibly full-on gay. Hmm.

I also realized that part of my violent DNW reaction to Pierce on Community is that he is exactly like a guy I used to work with at B&N, namely the one who sexually harassed me. I appreciate that the show freely acknowledges that he's pretty creepy, though, and also establishes that spoiler ) In fact, I really like that when the show is mean to anybody (which it really isn't; it's actually pretty kind to its characters most of the time) it's most likely to be the (straight, able-bodied, but all of the main cast are straight so far, though I love the way they handle ability issues with Abed) white guys.

Today is a slow day at work, and it turns out that something I'd been stressing over (a picky request from E., one of the head honchos of the company, about a hotel she'd be staying at for a conference) was NOT, in fact, for the conference she's going to next week in Prague, but is for one in November in Atlanta, so I a) don't have to worry about trying to find someone who speaks Czech here or English there to get to request across, and b) don't have to worry about it, period, for another couple of months, at the very least. \o/ Instead I just have to make some reservations for the dinners we'll be hosting during the ALA conference next month.

Then M. took me out to lunch, because a former intern who just got her MLS came by to visit and she thought we'd get along well. &M;

UGHHHH MY STOMACH IS STILL ALL WEIRD. NOT A FAN. I feel fine otherwise, but there's this vague nausea that occasionally swells up just high enough to make me wonder if I'm going to have to make a dash for the bathroom, and then subsides again. Possibly the soup I had for lunch was not the best idea (coconut-chicken soup from the Thai place across the street; delicious but cream-based and very rich). :(
sohotrightnow: A budding tree branch. ([stock] green and growing)
This post started as a post for Blog About Disablism Day, but obviously it didn't end up being ready in time for that. I'm posting it anyway, though, because, IDK, I've mentioned to other people that I've been wanting to talk about mental health and privilege relating to it for awhile.

WARNING: this post contains some sexual content and graphic discussions of triggers, especially as they relate to sexual trauma. It may be triggery.

There's also some talk about mental health and privilege, and some of my residual anger over last summer's AbilityFail, aka WarningFail, and no, I still refuse to call it WarningWank. )

Comments are screened because I really do not have the spoons to deal with starting the warnings debate up again. I'll unscreen stuff as it comes (so if there's something you'd rather stayed between us, make a note of it and I'll leave it screened), but anything that looks like it's headed in the direction of AbilityFail Part Deux will stay screened, I will not respond to it, and if it comes to it I will not hesitate to ban people. I can't promise that this entire journal is a safe space, but I'm going to try and make this post, at least, one. If you want to have that discussion in your own journal, knock yourself out, and if you link me to posts where you've discussed it, I will unscreen those comments. Link to this post all you like, but please include some kind of warning resembling the bolded one at the top.

I feel like I should tell everyone that I am not actually feeling super upset or angry or freaked out right now! I am feeling pretty good right now, as a matter of fact. That's another thing -- it's taken me awhile to figure out what it was about the happiness of the past few weeks that feels different from the way it has in the past. I finally put my finger on it a few days ago, and that, more than anything, was what inspired this post: the new element was that, for the first time in years, I feel safe. I am surrounded by people who I trust and love, and who respect and love me in return. So ♥, guys. I'm getting there. For the ones who had a notion/A notion deep inside/That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive.

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